I always knew I wanted to be a mother one day. Growing up, I helped look after my younger cousins and, before becoming a full time music-maker, I was a child care provider. I never gave motherhood much thought because I thought itʻd just happen for me one day. Then, right before my 30th birthday, I had a dream that made me evaluate my life. I woke up the next morning and knew that I had to start living more intentionally if I wanted to get the thing I desired most... a family of my own.
“Be clear about your intentions and the universe will rise up to meet you wherever you are.”
In an interview with India.Arie from Super Soul Sundays, Oprah Winfrey mentions this quote above, which has since become one of my favorites as well. I found this to be self-evident in my story to becoming hāpai (pregnant). I had to decide exactly what I wanted in order to receive it. I journaled a lot throughout my life but this experience was awakening! I uncovered a strong, capable woman beneath everything I thought I was. Being hāpai and then to hānau (bare) my own child was empowering! Now as I hānai (raise) my first child I want to share in these experiences with other mamaʻs & families.
Itʻs hard for me to be completely vulnerable in places other than my music. My songs are a form of therapy for me. I can get intimate without being explicit because to each person the words are perceived differently and thatʻs what makes music so magical. Itʻs relatable. Itʻs universal. I can express myself openly. Social media, on the other hand, can be overwhelming for me sometimes with all the content being pushed out daily. Especially when it comes to talking about this special time in my life, Iʻm more of an old soul writing in her journal under the puakenikeni tree. But I understand the value of finding outlets especially in my new mommyhood. So this blog is a chance for me to reflect on this new journey. Iʻd love to hear from you in the comments section.