June 24th, 2015 journal entry excerpt:
Last night I had a vivid dream. I was giving birth in the ocean but there was no pain only a feeling of relief, much like going to the bathroom.* Makamae was with me, warning me not to push too hard or our baby might be swept away in the waves. When we arrived safely on the shore our family was there to greet us. I looked down at our child and it was a girl! She was so beautiful. She had ʻehu hair and full lips that I just couldnʻt resist kissing over and over. I remember feeling overwhelmed with love for her and a feeling of pride Iʻve never felt before. In the dream I called her - Mea.**
*My actual birth experience was not even close to this fairytale dream, but weʻll get into that later.
**After dreaming part of her name (inoa pō), the rest of it came to us after she was born - ʻŌmealani. The naming process was a long labor in and of itself, a story for another post.
June 23rd, 2017 journal entry excerpt:
Tonight is the Cancer Super New Moon. It is overflowing with the emotional tides that my water sign is famous for, even more so tonight for me. Cancerʻs waters hold the memories of every important event. Our creation, our gestation, & birth.* I am a cancer mother. A discovery I made official with 3 tests on my way to Vallejo, CA.** This is my first time becoming a mother and it all happened pretty quick! I feel so much happiness but also fear, that I could have it all taken away from me, as quickly as it came. How can I love someone who hasnʻt even developed into a “someone” yet? But I knew this was coming and it is my new beginning.
*This affirmation was written by Chani Nicholas, a famous astrologer that I follow.
**I was on tour with my band, driving from LA to Vallejo, CA. Maka, my boyfriend, happened to be on this trip and was driving us up. We stopped at 3 different gas stations so I could “pee” aka take a new pregnancy test. My band had no idea what was happening. Maka and I couldnʻt talk about it til we got out of the car 8 hours later!! It felt like the longest car ride ever!
Exactly 2 years after my dream, I found out I was hāpai. I could feel her mana and knew it was my ʻŌmea. From that moment on everything changed in my life.